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Positive affects in lambs: appeasing effects of stroking In a sort of pop psychology sort of way. We are all doing hard things every day we love and lose; we forge and end friendships; battle addiction, illness, and loneliness; care for children and parents; struggle in our jobs, our marriages, our divorces; we try to set and hold boundaries and we fight for equality, purpose, joy, and peace right in the midst of all the hard. The rivalry between the Yorkish north and Lancastrian south h You are a dream. We miss you. And again, we, I wouldnt have learned that if we hadnt had the referee system, but its made me open my heart much more non judgmentally to everyone, all my friends and everything and we dont follow cultural rules. Rowan Mangan: To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy, Learn more about your ad choices. And I just said, You know what kids? It can feel like resentment. Martha identifies as a codependent: someone who helps others even when helping is to her own detriment. Just the, now we have to go and say, were really weird. And then what happened was that Marty and Karen were living on a ranch in California and there were sort of two different residences on the ranch and there was a bit of a commune kind of vibe going on. And you will say, this is too weird. Like, oh, I guess its fine. She doesnt want a dilly dally. We were living in California and we would get up in the morning every day one winter. This isnt what you want to do. I have all I am doomed to be a cultural outcast. And Im like, Thats because youre half Zeus. And so the whole getting interrogated and having to defend yourself and everything, she knew that wouldnt happen to her with her most intimate people. She must be half Hermes. What is the culture telling us to do? And after about five minutes, I was just like, keep talking, Mrs. Whatever your name is. It makes you think more and it makes you change more. And apparently they invented these to make people feel worse, which is, I dont know, sorry for all our Russian friends out there. We knew that we were solid. There was a commotion upstairs. And as a happy little fly, youre like, Oh, I want to make you happy. And before you know it, thats the string wrapping around and around and around you, is their reactions of feeling entitled and being angry or sad if you dont do everything they want. And then the people down lower in the power structure expect to be treated badly, expect to have to do things for others with no particular reward. Martha Beck: Its the truth. And we also are a ecosystem that is very close and so we do talk about how the hell do people do it with two people. Martha, didnt you write about that like decades ago? Nobodys that codependent. What is Polyamory and how Martha, Rowan, and Karen make their relationship work. So it was like a now are never kind of situation. Theres two men and a woman and she gets to make all the rules and tells people what And thats what, I get it. You are downplaying this so hard. Bewildered - Martha Beck and Rowan Mangan - TopPodcast.com 2023 Podvine, LTD. All rights reserved. I was lucky to be able to physically move out there. And then it also can happen, and a lot of people, when it was about addiction, its when you hit bottom, like an addicts hit bottom when they have some gruesome experience? They would bring vodka. Im from Ohio. Though she was only in her 40s at the time, she looked like an aristocratic old lady in a period drama. So everybody gets together. Whats stupid ass things do people say that hurt your feelings? Rowan Mangan: 2. And I dont think theres a parent out there whos tried to be a good parent who hasnt felt this way, like put the baby first to the point where you are falling apart. Can you email me that so I can tell the kids thats what Im doing when Im watching The Real Housewives of wherever. If you disable this cookie, we will not be able to save your preferences. Isnt it interesting that it is Ive thought about this before that theres such a strong similarity between like the whole gay thing and then this is that its all people want to talk about is the sex. Rowan Mangan: Its returning to the village. You were one of the first people that we called in search of health and advice because we didnt know how to kind of approach our love in the public eye and like you Glennon and at the time, and I was learning about deep integrity and speaking the truth and never lying early in my sobriety days, you just gave us the best piece of advice, which is just all you need to do is love each other. It's the best podcast app and works on Android, iPhone, and the web. Helping Too Hard - Martha Beck So not so long ago, I asked you a simple question. She said, I think something connected with me out there. She said it was like a little grub of consciousness. Managing Problem Relationships-The Gathering Pod Rowan Mangan: Martha Beck: Tragically. She said a single sentence that changed our lives: All the two of you ever have to do is love each other out loud.We are so honored that these two remarkable women have come to this space to love each other, and Karen, out loud.Listen to We Can Do Hard Things wherever you listen to podcasts. What's on Martha Beck's Nightstand? - news.yahoo.com So we were talking about this morning. They come from, I have heard, from the dark days of Soviet repression in Russia. We've, New Substack newsletter (finally!) If anybody solves all the problems humans created, it will be humans. Rowan Mangan: Martha Beck: It freaked me out. It's a powerful tool for socialization and the best strategy culture has for keeping us in its little box. I mean, they were capable of taking care of themselves, while I was making them dinner one day. It has fully possessed us. I will give you what you need because otherwise you will hurt me. And the spider feels like theyre best friends and everythings great, and the fly is being slowly consumed from within. To the question, Do you like blue cheese? because you thought that I needed you to like it. Theyre pretty cool. Yes. Okay, and Im doing my coachy stuff. There was like someone we kind of knew had done a post on Facebook that day about Im interested in this thing called polyamory. I think in what were talking about in our marriage and with your life and the way that youre loving, its just I really think that that might be the only way. And I thought, you know what Im going to do? Yes. Youre dead wrong. Martha Beck: And I got much more codependent during the times when my older children were tiny and had to sort of pull myself out of it and learn, well, Ill never forget, speaking of the way nature does things. How Martha felt - after years of marriage to Karen - when Karen told her she was in love with Rowan, too. Martha Beck is silly and insightful, and listening to her and Rowan Mangan giggle while talking about how to get back to our true nature is delightful. She said, Im having very unusual feelings about Row. I was like, really? Yes. More about that someday. Can you talk to us about fight? Get off the web. Really?. Its not mine. Its so beautiful. I mean time was a huge thing. What does one do living next to a spider you dont want to walk away from? Once you have something that you're putting into the world which . Pedestals the wrong word for lesbians, isnt it? Sunday morning is dont get out of bed. Martha Beck: If you can create from that space, you can create anything: a relationship, a mood, a food, an object of some kind. Well, and I think thats why Karen is so relaxed about being counter cultural because she knew for a fact that her parents would love her no matter what. I think all our bewilderment really just comes down to mixed metaphors. I cant lift that thing. Im camping, thats all Im doing. Or, No, no, Marty, you actually do sound passive aggressive. And I didnt believe it either. And we shouldnt presume to speak for anyone other than ourselves because it is circumstance for us. The Version table provides details related to the release that this issue/RFE will be addressed. When I was on the phone with my mom describing it, she was losing it and was afraid. And then Im just going to become friends with her and be part of her life. The survival specialist | Women | The Guardian Rowan and I believe that the best way to figure it all out is by going through bewilderment into be-wild-erment. I watched in awe from my home while this simple phrase from Untamed WE CAN DO HARD THINGS the mantra that saved my life twenty years ago, became a worldwide rally cry. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices. What is Polyamory and how Martha, Rowan, and Karen make their relationship work.2. Yeah. A lot of people think that having a baby thats half God is going to be all awesome all the time, but it comes with challenges, and people dont realize. But then a friend of mine came from Australia and we were just like, So, this is the part of the day where we sit down and talk about our codependency., Rowan Mangan: But then when she came and saw our family, there was no discussion after that. And so theres the resentment. Or if theyre in that place, is it just probably better to move on? Was I climbing up on my life coaching pedestal again? And so sometimes Im just like, Wait a second. Probably not Adam, even said, We wondered if you had something like that going., They were like, Werent you doing that all along. Martha Beck: What were you saying? And that is the work of a lot of marriages, like straight marriages where theres cisgender norms. Row started coming to our residents. 4. I just think thats so freaking cool that you had the courage to do that. Subscribe to Wild Inventures newsletter. 2. About Martha: And so I dont know that theres anything we are doing that would even apply-. Being gay when we were growing or when I was growing up, it was so weird that they wouldnt even put it on. Podcast with her wife Martha Beck, she also runs the Wild Adventures newsletter and community on Substack. Im trying to figure out like the nature of your psychology? She did make some pretty extreme sounds after that. How did your mom, what was her ultimate reaction? This episode really triggered me and I am mulling it over. You might think you know what it takes to lead a happier life more money, a better job, or Instagram-worthy vacations. From the "rubber time" of non-Western cultures, to the experience of "premembering" events that haven't happened yet, to Einstein's theory that time is just an illusion, Martha and Ro cover it all. Like, its optional. You were a little bit, yeah. Please forgive any typographical or grammatical errors. And they would try to build it up so this woman was so deserving of pity, and then theyd compete to see who deserved the most pity. Sending love to you, Jenny, and to anyone else out there struggling. in social science, but who doesnt? This ones ab, SPOTIFY AND THE BEWILDERED PODCAST martha beck two wivesmr patel neurosurgeon cardiff 27 februari, 2023 . Martha Beck: And so I think thats whats happening is that the soul is being let out of its cultural cage and kids, really brave kids are saying, I am none of the things culture says I am. Let me tell you about myself because thats the person youre dealing with. So early days in my lesbian acknowledgement and understanding, I found myself having to teach the rest of my people about homosexuality because I was the only gay person they had ever known. As a powerful Immortal Guardian, s. It was like falling off a cliff and saying, well, Im going to decide whether to hit the ground. So then there was like, Okay, youre exactly like straight people. So for Karen and me, because wed done all this and because, like we really were the ones who had all the advantages, like the solid couple and it was a weird situation for all of us. Dynamic set of behaviors. They like you to be codependent. And I think thats like 95%. And when you try to leave, they sting, they bite. 2015-2023. So we read our little passage and we started talking about it and I was trying to include my friend and be like, So do you find that in your codependency? And my friend was a little bit offended and she said-. It basically means putting such a high level of attention on someone else's needs and well-being that you actually forget about yourself and what you need. I like what Rowan said earlier. Is that how you describe? Theres a lot of fear there too. Finding the Path to Your True Self was an instant New York Times bestseller, obviously. But I wont do it for you because you can do it for yourself.. I havent been successful at making everyone happy even though Ive spent myself trying to do it.. And its still the worst thing you can do for everyone involved. We have a very abnormal family and we are very, very happy. I just love it. I went to school in Singapore with a bunch of Russians who had to have a Soviet Communist minder there, watching them learn Chinese, so that they wouldnt learn anything that was against the party. Martha Beck: 2023 Audacy, Inc. All rights reserved. And so I thought, oh, is he going to think this is so weird? And then the last thing is youll start to feel, you will deny this, but youll begin to feel resentful. I know this is a physiological effect of adoption and early trauma. When I am open with the people I grew up with, they dont like it. And Im Rowan Mangan. I often think it must be really hard for people whose nature lines up exactly. Like it could be so important you could have waited this long, years into our relationship, before you finally pop the question, Do you like blue cheese?. I decided what every woman needs is a wife, but now Im thinking what every woman needs is two wives. We Can Do Hard Things with Glennon Doyle: Martha Beck & Rowan Mangan Jen Hatmakers Back! Why would it be so hard? Trying to figure something out? And just go, That was wonderful. She also runs the Wild Inventures newsletter and community on Substack. And I think weve all been living like that for centuries. But heres Row and shes like, What do you think about parenting? And Im like, I dont know, feed them? She also runs the Wild Inventures newsletter and community on Substack. Im going to go get Thai food. And left. No worries. Beck has had an extraordinary life. And when we were chatting about this, you talked about how for some people in some relationships where theres the person who is receiving the codependents attention gets really used to it and enjoys that. Now Im outdoorsy. Rowan Mangan: Martha Beck: You can follow us to get updates, hear funny snippets and outtakes, and chat with other fans of the show. You havent talked about this a ton publicly. The pandemic actually helped some people, I think, because when you are on your own for long enough, you start to feel what is natural for you. This is a big one. Rowan Mangan: I have literally been called the antichrist in public and I always I responded, I thought that he would be taller. Do you like blue cheese? And youre trying to cook. What are yours? That, but also then with a little murder afterwards. Okay. Exactly, me too. Dont you? Weve had people say to us, oh yeah, I know a throuple and boy do they have rules. Rowan Mangan: My psychology. And so, I think like, because Marty and I work together all the time. TW: @TheMarthaBeck There were about eight people in the room at that point. At a certain point, I get angry. Im Glennon Doyle, author of Untamed, the book that was released at the very start of the pandemic and became a lifeline for millions. Martha Beck: You can follow us on our Instagram channel @bewilderedpodcast to connect with our Bewildered community, learn about upcoming episodes, and participate in callouts ahead of podcast taping. The Chalene Show | Diet, Fitness & Life Balance. You grab the kettle bell by its weird little handle, and you slowly, in a controlled fashion, you stand up from your deep squat as you lift the bucket of despair over your head. Right? Yeah, bashing down pillars. Melbourne, Australia. I just love talking to you. If there could be a future focus at some point on codependency. They look like something that you shouldnt pick up if its going to be heavy. And if queerness gets people there, then thank God. Were also on Instagram. Jen Hatmaker's Back! Forgiveness & the Audacity to Rebuild This is a common problem. Theyre always, I dont know, firing up a forge in the basement. And all kinds of different ones. And its just so beautiful to hear you say we are abnormal and very, very happy. Okay, so you were feeling it was weird, but you were telling yourself it wasnt weird. I know, its gross. To help her serve others. Martha Nibley Beck (born November 29, 1962) is an American author, life coach, and speaker who specializes in helping individuals and groups achieve greater levels of personal and professional success. We feel like the queer elder aunties now. Way worse than the worse mugged or bed bugs. So it would make sense that some kids are going to see the matrix early and be like, Oh, I see that Ive been assigned a role to play, but I actually dont feel like playing that role for you.. Cookie information is stored in your browser and performs functions such as recognising you when you return to our website and helping our team to understand which sections of the website you find most interesting and useful. 73 of Martha Beck Podcasts Interviews | Updated Daily - OwlTail Well be right back with more Bewildered. And you always say, That taught me to be a good helper, and you are crazy good at helping. I mean, Mormonism had defined the enemies of the church in the latter days as gay people, intellectuals and feminists. Martha Beck: I said to you, Do you like blue cheese? Simple enough question. Why do you follow the culture when you see what the culture has done, right? Your day sounds like freaking heaven. We are obsessed with fighting because we just, I dont know. So this, oh, I have to start over. But Im recognizing more and more their entitled behaviour and how I have played into it in my guilt over not being their biological mom and having taken them from the country of their birth. What if you had a whole blue cheese spectacle that you were about to present to me and I just condemned it with one word? Instead of questioning the role itself. Excellent. We Can Do Hard Things Ep 121 | Momastery I need to know what happened after, like who broke the awkward silence after you said, Like a family. Like what happened next? And Abby was wondering if, tell them what you were saying this morning. So anyway, back to the baby. But now what they really discovered was that codependency is the way people typically act when theyre around an addict that they love. Unresolved: Release in which this issue/RFE will be addressed. Human culture teaches us to come to consensus, but nature our own true nature helps us come to our senses. 542 posts. Martha and Ro dig into the difference between a life that's prescribed by culture, and one that we invent from our inner wild selves. So it would help us enormously if you would consider going over to your favorite podcasting app, especially if its Apple, and giving us a few stars, maybe even five, maybe even six if you can find a way to hack the system. Is there something youve been feeling bewildered about? By Rowan Mangan April 16, 2022 Voices Above the Noise I remember thinking my mother was kidding around. So lets just get straight to a good working definition of codependency. A huge lesson for couples based on the revolutionary ways they deal with . Her newest book, The Way of Integrity, I love this book. The way being gay was considered super weird when I was growing up in Provo, Utah, but we had this speech we made up. Martha Beck: You both wear pants. Martha Beck & Rowan Mangan: Polyamory & Throuple Life Shes fighting her way out. Rowan Mangan: No. Erin McRae & Racheline Maltese - A Queen From the North She was married for 10 years, before she came out as gay - and only after. Martha Beck: Yes. And I think thats the difference is, yeah, I tend to over help or over care take. What is Polyamory and how Martha, Rowan, and Karen make their relationship work. Yeah. What else? We have this silence thing. So were you telling yourself it wasnt weird, but it did feel weird or did it actually. Circumstantially polyamorous, a memoir. Oh, this is exactly what we wanted to talk about. learn about upcoming episodes, and participate in callouts ahead of podcast taping. Shes on Facebook, The Martha Beck, and shes on Twitter, marthabeck. Ro is currently pursuing publication for her first novel, a magical realist thriller set on the west coast of Ireland. A huge lesson for couples based on the revolutionary ways they deal with conflict, jealousy, and daily rituals to stay close. Oh my Gosh. So for us, we didnt even really know anything about it. She was incredible. Of love. I cant do it. Martha Beck: And if youre a Bewildered fan, wed love for you to consider giving us a little rate-and-review love on your favorite podcast player. The thing was shed already spent enough time with the three of us to feel the energy. It was first about addiction and how that affects people. 4. She also runs the Wild Inventures newsletter and community on Substack. Rowan Mangan - Creative Director - Martha Beck, Inc. | LinkedIn And I never know, like it could go anywhere. And we just always talk about imagining the truest most beautiful relationship or family and you clearly have done it. What does a bad codependent do? Dr. Martha Beck is a New York Times bestselling author, life coach, and speaker. Listen to new episodes of Borderline Salty by Pineapple Street Studios every Tuesday starting April 12. But I only want to talk to you for one hour a week until Im less busy. and they go, Oh. And if youre in nature, nature pulls you toward your nature and you start to come out of culture and then only love makes sense, period. So has the psychology of entitlement, addiction, whatever, theres that whole, its the opposite of codependency. Its rubbed off on us. Were all outnumbered. Shes like, I dont know if its right to bring a child into this world. And Im like, Well, you know what? There is a lot of mother and wife in there. And the TV was on and it was a documentary about bears, which the narrator pronounced bear. Lets just go out there and bewilder the world. Ro is currently pursuing publication for her first novel, a magical realist thriller set on the west coast of Ireland. What is Polyamory and how Martha, Rowan, and Karen make their relationship work. And then theres something going on. So with that, I think its time to say to Bev and all our wonderful people out there-. Youre my best friend or whatever. Rowan Mangan Communications. And thank you for the work youre putting out in the world. Anyway, they give you clues that youre not doing it right. And its pervasive. So its somebody telling the truth as they see it. And shes on all kinds of hormonal treatments for the bedbug bites themselves, plus she got a really bad hair dye job where they ruined her eyebrows and made her cry. We were like, oh my God. How Martha felt - after years of marriage to Karen - when Karen told her she was in love with Rowan, too. Martha Beck: Rows bomb came to visit, she was in the guest room. And then wed just discuss our codependency, which didnt seem odd at all at the time. There was a show that had one gay character and they wouldnt show it in Utah. Martha Beck: Yes. Right. Exactly. And I dont know how other people experience it. Made in with SitemapPrivacyTOS, No host has claimed this podcast yet, if you are the host you can verify ownership by claiming this podcast, Insightful and timely. Its an important word. Kettlebells, the baby. Help. - The Bloggess On the way So we do all this pre-work for these folks who come on this safari thing, I just got back from there. Well, I have to actually acknowledge Martha. The gates are open, whatever happens and thats the fun of it is you never know what adventure life is going to bring you when you say, I will live on this thread of truth that I feel is myself. Its like youre pulling this thread towards you. Martha Beck: Weve never had a fight where all three of us have been fighting. So it's time I learned um, where it is I stand, exactly. And you dont want to just toy with your beloveds feelings. <p>1. Whenever I slip back into the world of shadows, she is the one who leads me back into the light." Martha Beck, Leaving the Saints Read more quotes from Martha N. Beck Share this quote: Like Quote The second-hand truth really is stranger than fiction. "Every act of creation begins with the. So if we want to follow Bev and say, okay, to come back to our true nature, away from whats our wild nature here, away from the kind of culturally informed codependent. Ro is currently pursuing publication for her first novel, a magical realist thriller set on the west coast of Ireland.TW: @rowanmanganIG: @rowan_mangan To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. 3. I feel so much better now. And it is a VIBE. Not the internet, the spider web. Plus Karens a morning lark and were both night owls, so we got the whole shift covered. When you look at traditional gender roles. And some cuddles while we watch television. I cant take this much longer. Martha Beck: Martha Beck: New episodes on Mondays for free. Well, I dont have to unhook from those behaviors with people who feel entitled to them? Shes got bears everywhere. Rowan Mangan: Ooh. Im sorry. Rowan Mangan: How does it feel for you when you know youre exhausting yourself taking care of others? Transfer that to energy, attention, service to another person. So when you say I popped the question was the confusion about the fact that I got down on one knee and had a little box that I presented to you-.